Adolescence

Jan 13

The complications of being a young person today are all the same complications of ever being a young person — plus so much more.

Social media, the mental health fallout of COVID-19, climate anxiety, immense pressure for achievement, questions about gender and identity, and a growing disconnection from the natural world are realities teenagers are navigating right now. While the specific stressors of this generation may be unique, the experience of feeling overwhelmed, lost, or unlike yourself is not new. And neither is the experience of watching someone you love struggle and not knowing how to reach them.

You don't have to figure this out alone.

*You know your child better than anyone. And right now, something feels off.*

“We carry adolescence around in our bodies all of our lives.”

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-Garrison Keillor

A word about stress and anxiety

One of the most important things we can offer parents, and teens, is a reframe.

Stress and anxiety are not signs that something is wrong with your child. Anxiety is a normal, healthy alarm system that alerts us to pay attention — to what's happening around us, or inside us. Stress, when it's manageable, actually builds capacity. When we operate at our outer edge, that edge tends to grow.

The problem isn't that teenagers feel anxious or stressed. The problem is when those feelings become so constant or so overwhelming that they get in the way of living.

"We run the risk now of raising a generation that is stressed about being stressed, and anxious about being anxious."

— Lisa Damour, Ph.D., author of Under Pressure

How we work with young people

At Heart Stone, we work with teenagers in a way that is gentle, creative, and non-pathologizing. We use art, mindfulness, experiential learning, and skills development — not to fix what's wrong, but to help young people build trust in themselves and their own resilience.

We also take connection seriously. No teenager should feel like they have to navigate this alone, and part of our work is helping them build the relational skills to reach out — to trusted adults, to peers, and eventually to themselves.

We work closely with parents too. Not to report back or undermine the therapeutic relationship, but to help families find ways to stay connected during a time when connection can feel impossibly hard.

If you're a teen reading this

Maybe you found this page on your own — looking for something, not quite sure what. Maybe you've been wanting to talk to someone for a while and you're still figuring out how to make that happen. Or maybe someone you trust suggested this and you're not entirely convinced yet. All of that is okay.

What we can promise is this: therapy at Heart Stone isn't about someone telling you what's wrong with you or what you need to change. It's a space that belongs to you — to figure out what you're carrying, what you want, and who you're becoming. You're allowed to take your time.

This might be a good fit if your teen is:

Withdrawing from family, friends, or activities they used to enjoy
Struggling with anxiety, depression, or mood changes
Navigating questions about identity, gender, or orientation
Dealing with academic pressure, social stress, or friendship difficulties
Processing a significant loss, transition, or trauma
Showing signs of disordered eating, self-harm, or substance use
Simply going through something hard and needing a space that's theirs

That depends on your teen's age, needs, and what feels right for the therapeutic relationship. For younger adolescents, we typically maintain more regular contact with parents. For older teens, we prioritize confidentiality and their sense of ownership over the process — with their permission to loop parents in when it's helpful. We'll talk through what this looks like at the start.
Forcing a reluctant teenager into therapy rarely works and can sometimes make things harder. If your teen is resistant, it may be worth framing it as just one visit — no commitment. Sometimes meeting a therapist once is enough to shift the resistance. We're also happy to talk with you as a parent first, to help you think through how to approach the conversation at home.
Yes, with important exceptions. Therapists are mandated reporters, which means we are required to break confidentiality if we have reason to believe your teen is in danger of harming themselves or others, or if there is abuse or neglect occurring. Outside of those situations, what your teen shares in session stays in session. If there is a safety concern, but not an imminent danger, we will work with your child to come up with a plan to discuss it together. This is an essential part of building the trust that makes therapy work.
We can, and sometimes it's helpful. If you're struggling to connect with your teenager, or if you want support navigating this chapter of parenting, we're glad to offer that. Reach out and we can talk through what would be most useful.
We work with adolescents typically from age 12 through young adulthood. If you have a younger child and are wondering whether we might be a fit, feel free to reach out and we'll let you know. We complete free video consults with all of our adolescents and parents prior to initial first sessions.
We always try to introduce ourselves to both parents — whether by phone or email — and it genuinely helps when everyone is on the same page. That said, Maine state law permits adolescents age 14 and older to consent to outpatient mental health counseling independently, without parental consent or notification. For clients under 14, at least one parent or legal guardian's consent is required. It is our practice to share treatment plans and diagnoses with parents and request signatures from both our clients and their families where appropriate. If you have questions about a specific situation, reach out and we'll talk it through.